written by suzie frith
It’s funny how, when you’re 10-years-old, one problem can seem like the end of the world. Then by the time you’re 18 that worry has long passed and you’ve got more serious fish to fry. The mind goes from one problem to the next, thinking that this time, it’s the end of the world.
But why does this happen? Why do our minds value something as integral at a certain age, then a few years later, it is nothing but a distant and funny memory, that you cannot fathom was ever an issue.
I’ll give you an example. What are our worries at age 10? Friends, bedtime, whether or not we’re allowed sweets. Age 15? First boyfriend/girlfriends, school exams, arguments with parents. 20? Starting adult life, trying to live on a budget, studies. And with each age, it appears there’s a new problem. And it makes you think about the structure of life.
Has it just so happened that life problems are attached to certain ages? Or has society structured life this way, so it keeps us all separate, and where we’re supposed to be.
This is why, when you see an old or young person doing something not aligned with their age, it is an awe inspiring thing. For example, a child that can play an instrument proficiently, or a young person, earning way over minimum wage, or an older person, still running marathons.
So why do we have this set structure, of what we should’ve achieved, or what we shouldn’t have, by a certain age. Who says something can’t be done whenever you want. Why are there limitations?
Well, we normally attend school from ages 5-18, which gives us a large chunk of time under our parent’s wing, to not worry about finances and paying bills. We use this time to mature and learn the basics of human nature. During adolescence everything is brand new; your body is developing, you learn new facts at school, you try your first alcohol, you have new and interesting relationships.
And this is all based around how society chooses us to be structured. The thought of people starting school at 40 is weird right? And the thought of children having to pay bills instead of their parents is strange. So this construction makes sense.
And this is all based around how society chooses us to be structured. The thought of people starting school at 40 is weird right? And the thought of children having to pay bills instead of their parents is strange. So this construction makes sense.
The way our lives on this planet are built seem to shape our thoughts at each age. It means what we see as happiness or sadness, is different at each point of lives. Our emotional maturity changes, and so do we. When we’re young, you might see get excited to attend a party, socialise and drink all weekend, whereas an older person might look forward to a quiet weekend, after a long working week.
Social psychologists describe this change as a consequence of a gradual changing from promotion, to motivation oriented goals. When we’re young, say 18, we see our goals in terms of what we can gain, or how we can end up better off. Then, as we grow older, we start to align more with prevention motivation; where we see our goals in terms of avoiding loss and keeping things running smoothly. Everyone, of course, has both motivations. But the amounts of each can shift with experience as we age.
Research from Northwestern University in the journal Psychology and Aging, suggests that promotion-mindedness is most common among young people. This is because youth is a time focused on your goals, aspirations and the future. You also have few responsibilities at this time in your life; no children to care for, no house tying you to one place, no bills to pay and therefore no job to have.
But as we get older, our impression of immortality fades, and the idea of ‘the world is your oyster,’ starts to disappear. We gain responsibilities, because we have worked for them, and this in turn changes
us. We’ve learnt a few lessons the hard way, and we have valuable experience that ironically, would have been more useful when we were younger.
So, our mind-sets evolve and change with the structure of life. But who’s to say one is better than the other. It’s just different.
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